An Autistic Author

  This is the second post in this series where I talk about my various mental health struggles and symptoms and how they have evolved over the years. Today, as you will know from the title we are talking about my journey with anxiety!

So, I know that this blog is mostly aimed at autism, I mean it's right in the name. But it is important to know that many of us with autism end up in similar situations to me. Where we need many types of medication to deal with our mental health. 

Having autism can be extremely challenging. Holding down a job, forming meaningful relationships, achieving independence, dealing with finances, and coping with anxiety, can all take a toll on our mental health. Autistic people are statistically much more likely to suffer from co-existing mental health conditions.

  So on Wednesday, we celebrated a milestone in my streaming career, for the first time since I started streaming almost five years ago I have streamed every day for six whole months. It is a milestone that I never even dreamed of reaching, but yet here we are. So, let's talk about what has happened over the last six months. 

In recent years, there has been much debate on whether there is an autism epidemic. It seems that nowadays children are receiving a diagnosis of autism at an alarming rate. If you do an honest study, you will discover that there are many contrasting opinions on what is causing these staggering statistics.

 Time isn't always easy, but the people you are around can make every difference in the world. Eight years ago, I fell in love with one of my current partners. Yes, I have more than one partner.

So, the title really explains what I'm going to talk about here, like many other autistics I like to think of myself as an introvert. But, am I really an introvert or do I just lie to myself. Well, let's dive into that and see what we discover. 

So, first thing first, I am talking about my own experiences as an autistic person. Although this is the way death affects me, and the way I choose to cope. It may not be the way another person on the spectrum would feel or deal with it. As always, your mileage may vary. 

So, I have found myself in a very strange state of mind lately. And that is, the fact that for the first time in forever my mental health is very well managed these days. That's not to say that I don't have any struggles anymore, just that I have a handle on the situation most of the time. 

If you say the word autism to someone, various conceptions may come into their mind. It depends on who you ask. Sometimes their view on autism is based on past experience, or sometimes it is based on what they have read or seen in the media. Real or fictional portrayals of autism can all have an influence. Sadly, in my personal experience. The pre-conceptions of autism are seldom positive.

Autism is a pretty common condition that affects people from all walks of life, all around the globe.  Despite the fact that it is relatively common, it is one of the most misunderstood conditions out there. So, I decided it was time to post a few facts about autism that I think could help those who struggle to understand. 

When I was at school. I didn’t really have any major behavioural problems. I enjoyed academia, but I struggled socially. I didn’t know how to connect with others. I would converse well with adults, but I was very aloof towards my peers.

The first reading of the academic year was a poem written by Oskar Wilde - if you couldn't tell by the title. For context, Oskar Wilde was born in Dublin in 1854 and died in 1900. This was during the Victorian era, when capital punishment, although public executions were abolished in 1868, was still very popular; with private executions frequently being taken place. 

So, for the first time in a long time, I have been single for longer than a couple months. in the past I have found myself constantly needing to be in a relationship. In some ways, I was uncomfortable with being alone, but also there was some idea that I was failing if I was not in a relationship. As if somehow my value was related to being able to find someone who claimed they loved me. 

Working as a teaching assistant has enabled me to expand my knowledge of education. I am fortunate enough to work in a lovely and supportive school. A school where everyone feels respected and valued. A school that is marvellously inclusive, where children are cared for and are at the centre of all that we do.

 After a couple weeks of settling, I thought it is now time to write another blog post. Starting a new chapter came around sooner than I thought it would. When the day came of starting, I thought I still had three or four more weeks before Uni started. Oh, boy was I wrong. For the first couple of days, the adrenaline from the anxiety of seeing new people had kept me going; the excitement of starting a higher level of education and meeting those who have similar passions was also a contributing factor.

As many of you know I am an avid streamer, I enjoy streaming, entertaining, chatting and generally having a good time. well, recently I've had a little bit of a conundrum. For the last while, I've had viewers asking how they can support me. And I really don't like the thought of them donating money for nothing in return. It took me quite some time to decide what I wanted to do. 

Hi, This is my introduction blog. I have never written a blog before, so this is quite an interesting opportunity for me.

Usually, when I write I start with a title and work from there. Building upon the idea of the title until I have a full blog post. But this is not one of those situations. I have an idea that I can summarise in one word. But I want to talk about where my priorities lie, I have limited funds available and I want to talk about how I am deciding what comes first. I'm not talking about food or heat, I'm talking about moving forward with content creation and pleasure activities. 

So, I have always been one who has struggled when it comes to social media. Both for my own personal use and also for anything professional. No matter what I do, who I talk to, or watch, I just don't feel very comfortable with it. It's not exactly a secret that if you want to be successful these days you need to be on socials. So, I'm going to hire someone. 

It's always difficult when you are unemployed and trying to keep a roof over your head. Most people see unemployability as being 'lazy' or 'unmotivated', but when people say that, it makes me realise that they have not walked in the shoes of others. Things happen in life and people become unemployed for many various reasons, not just due to 'laziness'.

So, how do I start this topic, on the 17th of July, 2022, only a few weeks ago I had most of my money stolen from me. There are many things that I felt, anger, frustration and shame. I had always thought of myself as an intelligent, well-versed person who had a great deal of knowledge surrounding security and the like. The truth is, no matter how well you are educated, and no matter how much you try to protect yourself, the right kind of person, with the right kind of tricks can better you. 

If you couldn't guess by the title, this week has been chaotic. I'm sure many of you have had weeks similar. On top of the many appointments and daily chores everyone has to do when they live in their own property, we had a flood. 

So, we interrupt your regularly scheduled posting with news that I am sure by this time you have already heard, Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II has died. We have been told that she has died peacefully, after a short illness at her beloved Scottish get-away home of Balmoral Castle.

 So, Where Do I Start? Hello Everybody. My Name is Sean Calvin Parkinson. I am 25 Years Old and I am Autistic. I am also Gay. I have lived with Autism all my life. I was diagnosed when I was four years old. My diagnosis was High Functioning Autism.

So it has once again been some time since I posted here on the blog. It's a real shame as so many interesting things have happened to me over the last few years, some of them good, and unfortunately some of them bad... And it is one of those bad ones that I want to talk about today. 

 Happy Pride everyone!  I enjoy the atmosphere of Pride events; they're accepting, non-judgmental, and uplifting. No matter how big or how small the event is, you can feel at home. Don't get me wrong, there are some cons to going to an event like Pride, especially ones larger than average. The excessively loud atmosphere and people rustling around like termites in a wooden furniture store is enough to make even the largest lion turn into a mouse.