My Grandad

I'm really struggling to think about how I want to write this. If you follow my twitter you'll know that my grandad passed on the 17th of July.

The whole situation is painful and I honestly don't know how to deal with the way I'm feeling. I have been crying at nights because I'm scared that my mum seeing me cry will push her over the edge. I have been more aggressive because I don't know how to deal with the emotions that I am currently feeling.

I don't know what's harder to be honest, the fact that I've lost my grandad, or the fact that I have to watch my mum go through losing her own dad. I know that it will get easier but right now it feels like it won't. I am managing to cope and get on with things, but I am on edge all the time at the moment.

My grandad was the most amazing man you could ever ask for. He is a perfect role model for a man that I want to become when I am older. I have never met a man that has put so much of his own time into other people.

I honestly thought that today was Wednesday, so I am sorry that the post is a day late and with the funeral tomorrow I wouldn't expect a post for tomorrow.

Thanks for reading,

Spec.