Why You Shouldn't Lock Your (Autisitic) Child In Their Room

 Although this blog is often aimed at autism, this is something that I feel strongly about, it relates not only to autistic children but also those that are neurotypical. As you may know already from the title we will be talking about locking your child's bedroom door and the impact this has on the child. 

It can certainly be tempting, once a child gets to the toddler stage and transitions to a bed rather than a cot to lock the door. It's common for all children to do some wondering, but it seems far more common for autistic children to roam further afield. In some cases even leaving the house itself and wondering outside during the night. 

This can be a terrifying ordeal for the parent and child alike. Often police are involved and in extreme cases, the local social services may be involved which in itself leads to large amounts of stress for families. 

All this leads to many parents considering adding locks to their children's doors, but I'm here to say, it is not okay to lock the door! There is a whole range of reasons for this. But the main ones are, in the event of a fire or other emergency the child could end up stuck, the impact it has on the child mentally can be harmful and finally, it just isn't necessary when there is a well-thought-out behavioural plan in place.

Locking the child's door may be a violation of fire or building safety codes where you live depending on the exact rules, which could land you in hot water if you were to go this route. Not only this but in the event of a disaster such as a fire, earthquake, flooding or home invasion you could lose vital seconds unlocking the door to rescue the child.

Have you ever found yourself to be in a place where you feel as if you are a prisoner? Maybe you were arrested or in a choking relationship. Regardless of the exact situation that you were in at the time, think back to how you felt at that time. The loss of freedom, the anxiety, fear. These are all feelings that trapped children feel. Just because they are children doesn't mean they don't understand that they are trapped and unable to escape. This can lead to the children being more anxious in their everyday lives. Anxiety is one of the big causes of misbehaving in people of all ages but especially young children.

So the question has to be asked, what alternatives are there? Well, the first one is a pretty simple one, a toddler gate. These handy little devices have been a thing for a long time and have generally proven to be highly effective for younger toddlers. If you somehow don't know what a toddler gate is, it is typically metal gate that is installed In front of the door. Most modern ones simply wedge into place and require no screws, nails or other damage to doorframes or walls. 

If you are looking for something more stylish then why don't you consider a Dutch door? Also called a stable door or split door, these are doors that are split down the middle so you can close the bottom half while leaving the top half open. This means the child can look out over the door but is secure overnight.

You can use these options either on their own or in conjunction with some form of a motion detector. There are a plethora of devices on the market, from baby monitors that alert you to movement, all the way to security devices that are designed to secure your house but can be reused for protecting your little ones. There are many kinds, some are as simple as handing a device on the door handle or can be as complicated as needing to be wired in. Just make sure that whatever device you choose is reliable. The left thing you need is to be taken frequently from a motion sensor that alerts you without any cause.

In the end, there is only one permanent solution, which just happens to be the best one too. That is, finding a good sleep ritual that works for you and your family. It's not unreasonable for the ritual to start a few hours before bedtime. Dimming lighting, having a bath and getting into pyjamas can go a long way to subconsciously signal to the child that bedtime is nearing. 

At the end of the day, no matter our age, getting into a good sleep cycle can massively improve our quality of life. We can be happier, with more energy and motivation, we can learn faster and even have better overall health simply from maintaining a good sleep schedule. At the end of the day, the sooner your child is sleeping soundly, the sooner you will be too!

Thanks for reading,

Spec.