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Wednesday, 1 October 2014

Love

So today is the second day that I am posting to this blog, it's hard to decide what to talk about because there is just so much to say. But one thing that I am sure I want to talk about is that four letter word, "love". The one question that I have been asked a few times is why don't young autistic children show their love. The true answer to that is I don't exactly know, I was seven years old before I first told my mum that I loved her. Does that mean that I didn't love her up until that point... NO! it doesn't, I have always loved my mum but I don't know how to show it, yes, I used the word "don't" because the truth is I often act like I don't love her and sometimes it's something I do hate because her has been an amazing mum, she has fought for me my entire life and for that I am eternally grateful.

When I was younger, I had no self control, I was stronger that my mum by the age of six or so and that made life rather difficult on her part because my dad wasn't around to help and she just didn't know what to do. When my mum would bring this up with the health visitor, she would always give the same advice, telling her to stand her ground, put me outside the living and wait. But that rarely worked because I was able to push the door open even when she was holding from the other side.
But as I have got older I have learnt that behavior like isn't acceptable... sometimes I still lose myself like I used to but I have learnt that rather than trying to have 100 percent control, All that was needed was for me to walk away and even to this day that is so vary difficult for me.

Anyway, back to the original topic, try to see the world from our shoes, although we have feelings, we have no way to explain the way we feel. Then even now I have gained the ability to explain how I feel, most of the time I don't know why I feel that way. When you have days where you think that your child doesn't love you, just try to remember what I've said, and someday they will walk up to you, tell you that they love you and it will be one of the happiest and most bonding experiences of your life.

Thanks for reading and remember, a little patience goes a long way,

Ben.

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