Pain Seeking Behaviour in Children

Recently one of the mums on of the group many groups I am on for support of SEN people mentioned the fact that their little one purposely causes harm to themselves by doing things such as banding their head against hard objects like walls and doors. This was actually something that I was thinking about recently as I used to do this myself.

But first! There are any number of reasons why young people may choose to cause harm to themselves and some are more concerning than others. So, please. If you are at all concerned about the actions of ANYONE, consult a medical professional as soon as it is possible.

The answer to this is actually quite simple, yet… it is not. You see when I was younger I was well aware that I was a naughty boy. I was more than able to understand the concept of good and bad behaviour, but I wasn’t able to make the decision to behave in such an appropriate manner.

So, you may ask, where does this mix with self harm, well, It is simple that I feel many of you may already suspect. The truth is, it was a way for me get the punishment that I felt I deserved. It seems silly to me now looking back, but even as I self harmed as a teen it was still partially the reason.

As many of you know I suffer with depression and part of that comes with a general lack of self worth, that is simply the way this type of mental illness affects me. So, when you mix together a lack of self worth and feeling that I constantly am ‘naughty’, you can see where the logic comes from.

But, this wasn’t the only reason I displayed this behaviour, the truth was, I kinda enjoyed it, that may sound strange to many, but it is the truth. It was not a sexual thing, but a comforting thing, something that reminded me I was alive, that I was human, that I was, That I was normal.

This is the reason I displayed self hard behaviour, but please remember we are all individuals. Just because that is my reasoning doesn't mean its the same reasoning for another person, on the spectrum or otherwise.

Thanks for reading,

Spec.