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Friday, 27 October 2017

Expectations

I find it interesting, the way some people in the world impose expectations on others. This is even more applicable when you take parents. Here is one thing that I hate, when we don’t meet those expectations, these made up rules that are imposed on we, we are shunned and looked down on.

Now I have to say this post comes after I read something online, there was a parent who's child was turning 15 and she was determined he was having a birthday party. He had explicitly stated he didn't want a party with his 'friends’. His friends being the people who he went to school with. The first attempt they had to cancel, and his father basically said just pick up his greetings and bring them, he'll soon get used to the party. They want was saying he needed to have friends, but he tells them he's happy on his own.
Now for me, this is the important part, he's happy, healthy and getting on with life on his own way. The is no need to impose your social requirements onto your child simply because ‘that's what everyone else does’. This poor lad ended up stimming any having an anxiety attack, so he then refused to put clothes on.
Now this young guy with autism has gone for relatively happy to having an anxiety attack in the space of a day simply because the parents wouldn't take no for an answer. The worst part is, if they do this on a regular basis he's likely to develop some form social anxiety from the experience. Currently he is more anxious about the actual people involved, as he is fine with family and real friends, just not the people from school.
This applies not only to autistic children but all children, if they are happy, healthy, doing their best at school, trying to behave themselves and generally are decent and respectful; leave them to develop into the person they want to be. Whether they be a socialite, or a recluse, a heart surgeon or a burger flipper.
The way you treat your children will shape them for the rest of their lives, give them the freedom to make mistakes, give them the love to know you'll always be there to support them and when needed, punish them to teach them right from wrong.
Full disclosure, I'm not a parent, and such I don't have personal experience in parenting, but this just feels like common sense for me.


Thanks for reading,


Ben.

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