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Thursday, 20 November 2014

Social Acceptability

I’m starting to feel better which is a good thing because I am well and truly sick of being, well, sick.
So, what is new? A close friend of mine if going through an issue, her mum is ill and I'm scared to talk to her because I have a great ability to say the wrong thing to people when they are feeling down.
I know that it isn’t my fault that I say the wrong things, as I don’t do it on purpose I just seem to freeze up and say the first thing that pops up into my head which isn’t usually the best thing to say in a situation like that.
I mean I can be comforting sometimes but most of the time I just make things worse. I guess its just one of those things that takes time to learn, but while I’m learning other people get hurt. Which isn’t my idea of a good thing to do because as much as it would amaze some people to know I don’t want to ever hurt anyone on purpose. I always wonder how do other people on the spectrum cope in these kind of situations. I know I pretty much don’t cope, I just seem to be useless and just rattle off statistics and hard facts which are not when people want to hear when they are going through a hard time. The strange thing is when I going though a hard time I find statistics and facts comforting, that’s probably why they are my first response when I see other people in any sort of bad situation. Its hard for me to remember that everyone is different in times that I need to think about socially appropriate responses in general. Many people with autism find knowing the correct socially appropriate response to any situation difficult because our brains just ain’t wired for social interactions. My theory about this is that evolutionary, it is an advantage for hunters and the like that choose to hurt solo and individuals that would have happily travelled alone for years at a time but as humans as a species created all of these wonderful things, like houses, schools, the internet etc. the more important socialising has become, it has now gotten to the point that the inability to want to socialise is considered one criteria for many disabilities and mental heath conditions.

Thanks for reading and as always, a little patience goes a long way,

Ben.

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