The Reason I Shout

You know one thing that really gets causes me issues these days is my shouting. I’m often questioned about it, ‘why do you shout so much’ and ‘Why are you shouting’ are things I hear on probably a daily basis.

The answer is, I don’t know… well that’s not the whole answer. When I say I don’t know its not that I don’t know the reason, the reason is itself the fact that I don’t know. You’re probably quite confused now so let me explain.

Often I find myself overwhelmed with emotions for no reason whats so ever, no trigger, no cause, just raging emotion. Around half the time I don’t even quite understand what it is that I am being, it’s just the deep dark feeling, this pressure in my soul needing to escape.

Most of the time this it is this feeling that causes my reactions to seem so, aggressive and hostile, but in fact it is more a show of frustration towards myself than anything else. So much of the time I just don’t know how I am meant to respond, on the one hand I know that there’s no reason as to why I am so miffed off, but on the other I have this uncontrollable urge to burn the place to the ground, metaphorically speaking.

I really hope this this is something that I can get a handle of at some point in the future because as you can imagine it really causes so many issues for me.

Thanks for reading,

Spec.