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Wednesday, 11 October 2017

Mondays by Mums(on Wednesday) - A Response

This is a response to the post 'Its Time for Honesty', If you haven't already, please  read this first. 

I'm a mum of a 7 year old with autism. One with severe development delays, poor speech and who is bloody wonderful. And cheeky... Ben said he doesn't know what its like to live without autism.

And we have always known something was different, so I've no idea what life would be like without it either. And I wouldn't want to. But perhaps that's easy for me to say as I'm not the one 'living' with it.

W doesn't lie. He's still pretty young yet, will he able to do that in future? If there's a strange smell in the air and I ask who's farted, if its W he'll say "me!". His brother of course will lie through his back teeth to avoid getting ribbed.
I bet when he's older he will be that one person that tells me, "yes your arse really does look big in that". It may be cute now but I suspect this may be troublesome in future.

I guess what you see is what you get. If W dislikes something you will know. He won't always use the words "don't like it". His speech is poor and not consistent. I showed him a knitted doll I was given as a child today and the horror was evident by the way he shouted " Mario and Luigi!" - this seems to be a phrase he says a lot when he's stressed about something.

I don't know how much W knows about himself. I hope he doesn't realise he's perceived as "different". I don't want him to know that sadness and pain that Ben describes. Maybe that's selfish of me I dunno. I'm upset that Ben feels inferior. It pains me that anyone could feel like that, and how so much of it could be reduced if people had a different attitude. 

Everyone needs to be a little more accepting. People with autism don't need 'fixing'. If I hadn't been lucky enough to have W, then chances are I would be just one of those blissfully unaware people who knows nothing about autism . But I was lucky. And the people I have met along the way have become some of most wonderful people I know because of it. But of course there are many difficult times too.

If you ever come across someone who appears a bit different, embrace it. If a kid randomly says hello or bye, say it back! It might even be W. Most people ignore him. One day someone didn't. A lovely Japanese tourist said bye bye to my son and you wouldn't believe how happy it made him just to hear it back.

No one in this day and age should feel unwelcome or alone. Ben, don't try and fix yourself. Ever.

Pam x

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